Going Green

Le Marais Chocolat Has Arrived!

Goinggreen — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:59:30 GMT

So I know it has been FOREVER since I blogged, but my dears, I want to share some exciting news - I started a chocolate truffle company!

First of all, some of you are responsible, because all the positive feedback you gave during my year of scratch cooking (which has mostly continued for the last few years!) made me think I could actually do this!

The company is Le Marais Chocolat and we make chocolate truffles using organic (of course) Fair Trade (of course!) chocolate! I've had a blast developing signature flavors like blood orange, black walnut (hat tip to a certain former GOP candidate. He was right about one thing, black walnuts are delish!), and the very unique Le Petit Prince truffle made with baobab (actual baobab fruit!) and roses. To those of you that have read The Little Prince, you know that baobab trees and roses are featured very prominently. A portion of proceeds goes to charity (of course), right now that is the BLU MOON Foundation Haiti Orphanage Adoption Program (HOAP).

I also just launched a Kickstarter page to raise money for our Fair Trade Certification so that we can become a member and use the Fair Trade logo on the box.

Would love all of your help getting the word out about the truffles and the Kickstarter project!

xoxoxo - Leslie, aka Going Green, aka Scratch Cooking Maven

Back in Haiti

Goinggreen — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 21:51:28 GMT

So this week, I was back in Haiti doing our first orphanage renovation. Here are some pictures of before, during and after. I think they speak for themselves. It was an amazing experience and I can't wait to do it again! Anyone that would like to contribute to the next one, please go to www.haitineedsourhelp.org

Scratch Cooking Continued Sept. 2nd

Goinggreen — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:33:39 GMT

So although it has been three weeks, I still cannot get myself to buy anything packaged. It just feels wrong!

The last few weeks have had a lot of sadness. Mallaury's dad died a couple weeks ago and she called me from France right after. I feel so sad for her and her family, but so grateful that she went home early and had a chance to see him. Losing a parent at any time is bad, but as a teenager, it seems particularly bad. I imagine that at 17, grief is coupled with guilt over every time you were nasty or rude. I don't know if children realize how quickly parents forget those moments. And I feel for her mother who has to deal with her own grief while helping her children through theirs. It's all very heart breaking.

I also had to find a new family for Robin's dog. He bit our dog a few weeks ago and it seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. We found a great place for him with a family with two young kids, but it feels like one more tie that's gone. I dreamt about Robin for days leading up to it. Ah, guilt!

Some of the things I have made over the last few weeks - chocolate macarons with vanilla buttercream filling, devilled eggs, tacos with fresh beans, buttermilk ice cream and lavender honey ice cream.

Here's some of the recipes:

The devilled eggs were really simple since I don't like mayonnaise - mix six egg yolks with a big heaping tablespoon of mustard, salt, pepper and a little olive oil. Spoon back into the egg whites and sprinkle with chopped scallions and paprika.

The fresh beans for the tacos were fresh black eyed peas and some other kind of bean that was similar. I sauteed them with a whole chopped onion in olive oil until the onions were soft and beginning to carmelize. Then I added about 1 cup of white wine and cooked at high heat until the wine was absorbed. They were fabulous! We made some guacamole and piled it on home made tortillas with a little white cheddar.

The ice cream recipes were the same as I have been using with some slight modifications. For the Buttermilk Ice Cream, heat up 2 cups of cream until hot but not boiling. Mix 4 egg yolks with 3/4 cup of sugar. Add the hot cream and put in pan over heat, stirring constantly until starting to thicken (will coat the back of a spoon). Take off heat and add 1 1/2 cups of buttermilk and a pinch of salt. Chill and then run through ice cream maker. It is absolutely lemony and delicious!

For the Lavender Honey Ice Cream, heat 1 1/2 cups of milk with 2 tablespoons of fresh or dried (edible) lavender. When hot, cover and let steep for 30 minutes. Remove lavender and re-heat milk. Mix 4 egg yolks with 2/3 cup honey. Add hot milk and then heat mixture until thickened. Remove from heat and add 2 cups cream and a pinch of salt. Chill and run through ice cream maker.

Nina is having a clam back on Monday, so these ice creams will be among the desserts that we bring. Stay tuned for others!

Consider this the first installation of scratch cooking, year 2!

Scratch Cooking August 11th

Goinggreen — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 20:16:35 GMT

So it looks like our one year anniversary of the scratch cooking project is going to pass with a whimper rather than a bang. That's because I am on a business trip to Springfield, IL. So instead of cooking tonight, I went on the Lincoln's Ghost Tour of Springfield during which we visited historic sites and heard about various Lincoln seances and hauntings. The guy who led the tour was pure camp, but it was pretty entertaining.

We did do a typical southern California dinner for Mallaury's last night in the U.S. Monday night - Mexican food! All her favorites - guacamole, fresh tortillas, corn on the cob, rice and I made a dish with leeks and fresh black eyed peas. I sauteed a small sliced leek with about a cup of fresh, shelled black-eyed peas, salt and pepper in olive oil. Dessert was home-made chocolate ice cream with fresh raspberries.

So much has happened since we started this project with a wild hare and a cross-country road trip. Literally, life and death have been brought into stark relief in our lives. We lost a dear friend and gained many dear friends. We helped others and were helped in return. We were forced to confront fears and let down defences. We traveled and hosted friends and became more comfortable in our lives. And through it all, we cooked. And in the cooking found solace, found creativity, found community, found family, found ourselves and grew closer. We discovered the joys of cream and butter and egg yolks. We made sour cream and cheese and cream cheese and creme fraiche. We dropped pounds while eating dessert. The kitchen and dinner table became places for conversation and connection. We ate a lot of chocolate. We had a lot of fun!

I "met" all of you, and every time I wondered why I was doing this, you were there to remind me that it actually mattered. And you all became my friends and my inspiration.

So after a year of losing the convenience of packaged food but gaining all of that, why would we give it up? Cans and boxes and plastic bags of frozen foods? SCRATCH THAT!

Scratch Cooking August 4

Goinggreen — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:39:24 GMT

What a difference a week makes! Mallaury cried again tonight, but this time because she's going home on Tuesday and she doesn't want to leave! She turned to my daughter tonight and said in English "you are my American sister!" It was very sweet!

After all the stress, I am a little sad she is leaving, too, but my instincts tell me that it is the right thing for her to do. I just have that feeling that her dad doesn't have much time left and that she needs to be home with her family. As I keep telling her, California will still be here when she is ready to come back.

We had a little impromptu dinner party with an old friend of my daughter, her mother and their French house guest. It was nice to catch up and I hope the girls will reconnect during the school year.

Dinner was salmon and corn on the grill, a chickpea mash, a caprese salad, green salad, ceviche and a cheese plate.

The chickpea mash was about 2 cups of cooked chick peas pureed with 1/3 cup browned butter (just heat butter over a high flame until brown and fragrant), seasoned salt, juice of 1/2 lemon, 1/4 cup ver jus and 1/2 cup water.

The ceviche was a pound of bay scallops, one small chopped onion, 1/3 cup cilantro, juice of 3 limes, 1 1/2 tablespoons sea salt and 1/2 teaspoon ancho chile powder. Mix all together and let sit for 2 hours until the lime juice "cooks" the scallops.

For the caprese salad, I used a cup of cherry tomatoes, 1/4 cup chopped basil leaves and one big round of chopped fresh buffalo mozzerella. I mixed the whole thing with a drizzle of olive oil.

For dessert the girls made brownies and we ate them with the apricot ice cream from the other night.

One week left to go and we will have gone an entire year without buying packaged foods!!

Scratch Cooking August 2nd

Goinggreen — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 20:40:30 GMT

It's hard to believe that the year is almost over! Just over a week is left. I can't imagine buying a loaf bread or a can of beans. Maybe I'll just ignore the one year mark and keep going...

My daughter returned on Thursday, safe and sound. It was tough for Mallaury, I think it made her really miss her family. I wasn't feeling particularly understanding because I wanted it to be a good homecoming for my daughter. But my daughter was extremely understanding and within 24 hours they had bonded over their love of chocolate and cute boys that work at Abercrombie and Fitch. Friday morning Mallaury was talking about going home early, by Friday afternoon, she was rethinking it again.

Tonight I was going to go hiking with the dogs and leave the girls to their own devices. As I was entering the park, we were told that there was a big ass mountain lion on the prowl, so we had to come home. I found the girls in the midst of a movie marathon and a dinner of brioches, chocolate and raspberries.

It's good to have my daughter home. She definitely brings a lightness to the whole operation chez nous!

And here's what's been cooking chez nous. The night she came home I made a chicken and brocolli stir fry. One chopped onion, one chopped head of brocolli, 2 chopped chicken breasts, sauteed in ollive oil and finished with a little salt, pepper, rice wine vinegar and tamari. Nobody ate that night. My daughter was too tired, Mallaury was too upset and I was too angry.

The real homecoming dinner was the next night. Lamb chops, corn on the cob, guacamole and tortillas and Barb's Vichysoisse from the Joy of Cooking:

This leek soup may be served hot or very cold. Yes, the last "s" is pronounced.

Most Americans shun it, in a most "genteel" way, as though it were virtuous to ignore it.

Be sure to serve the soup reduced to a velvety smoothness.

About 6 cups

Mince the white part of:

3 medium sized leeks

1 medium sized onion

Stir and saute them for 3 minutes in:

2 tablespoons butter

Peel, slice very fine and add:

4 medium sized potatoes

Add:

4 cups chicken stock

Simmer the vegetables, covered for 15 minutes or until tender.

Put them through a very fine sieve, food mill or blender.

Add:

1 to 2 cups cream

(1/4 teaspoon mace)

Salt and White pepper

Chopped watercress or chives

Note from Barb: That is the recipe as written - I used 1 cup of 1/2 and 1/2 and I ignored the mace direction.

Everybody ate that night.

Dessert was apricot ice cream and chocolate chip meringue cookies.

Here's the ice cream recipe:

4 egg yolks

1/2 plus 1/3 cup sugar

1 cup milk

2 cups cream

10 apricots

Heat the milk and 1/2 cup cream. While it's warming, mix the egg yolks and 1/2 cup sugar until creamy. When the milk is hot, add to the egg yolks and heat over a medium flame, stirring constantly, until it thickens to a custard. Once thick, add the rest of the cream and let cool over night. In the meantime, remove the pits from the apricots and run them through a food processor with 1/3 cup sugar until well combined. Let sit for an hour and then refrigerate over night. Combine the custard and apricots and run through ice cream maker.

The meringues were made with the leftover egg whites from the last 2 batches of ice cream!

Beat 8 egg whites with a pinch of cream of tartar and salt. Add 2 cups sugar and beat until stiff. Fold in 1 bag of chocolate chips. Drop teaspoonfuls onto parchment lined baking sheets and bake for 1 hour at 300 degrees. Turn off the oven and let sit in it over night.

Saturday night we went to a party where the girls bonded further over their discovery that by speaking French, they could talk about people right in front of them. And also a love for cupcakes.

Sunday morning I made waffles. A whole lotta waffles.

Mix 2 cups flour, 2 tablespoons brown sugar, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon salt and set aside.

Separate 2 eggs and mix the yolks with 2 cups milk and 1/3 cup melted butter.

Beat egg whites until stiff.

Mix flour with egg yolk mixture until almost blended. Fold in egg whites and cook on your buttered waffle maker. The girls assure me that the waffles are delicious and even better when you put squares of chocolate on them.

Last night we went with my friend Anabelle to see Shakespeare in the Park, a production of Othello. My friend Bernadette was in it and she was fantastic! And right after the last line was delivered, the coyotes started howling. It was perfect!

The girls helped make a picnic. Mallaury made guacamole and my daughter made tortillas. I made potato salad with basil.

8 potatoes, boiled, peeled and cut in cubes

1 sweet onion chopped

1/4 cup chopped parsley

1/2 cup chopped basil

1/2 cup olive oil

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon mustard

salt

pepper.

Mix potatoes, onions and herbs in a bowl. Mix oil, vinegar and mustard and pour over potatoes. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Annabelle was there the weekend Robin died, so we have shared something profound. We end up talking a lot about life and death and choices. I was thinking about it today and how easy it is to beat ourselves up for things because we assume that had we done certain things differently, the outcomes would be different. And the truth is we don't know. We all have things we wish we had done differently, but we assume that having done them differently would have created a different outcome and you don't really know. I am learning how hard it is to forgive ourselves, but also to let go of blame of all kinds. Whether it is on ourselves or someone else.

I was so upset Thursday night that Mallaury had ruined my daughter's homecoming because she was upset. I couldn't get past it. But my daughter was just happy to be home and that happiness allowed her to have compassion for Mallaury's situation and an understanding that she was probably just really missing her family and seeing us together, knowing that my daughter had just been with her parents, was painful. And through that compassion, she reached out to Mallaury and now they are sharing in a movie marathon of French and English films.

Things can only be ruined if one has some concept of how they are going to be. Some script that has to be followed. Some perfect variation of a moment. But the truth is, when things go off script, they sometimes turn out better than the script.

Scratch Cooking July 27th

Goinggreen — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:56:29 GMT

So, the drama with Robin's brother continues, this time through demands from his lawyer that I sign off on various things including that we are in dispute over whether he owes me money for my washer and dryer which he sold with the condo instead of returning to me even though he was told well in advance that they were mine. I am not sure what dispute there is. He knew they were mine and I told the person wrapping up the estate that he could either return them or buy them from me. He said, via the person wrapping up the estate, that he would buy them, I gave him a price, it was agreed to and now I am being told unless I sign something saying that these are my "alleged claims" and that he is willing to give me a settlement to end our "dispute" over my "alleged claims", although he owes me nothing, I won't get a dime. I called the lawyer and asked if it was possible to word it differently and although she was originally Robin's lawyer and sweet as pie to me - including insisting that Robin and I listen to a very long and personal story about a visitation from her deceased father back in February when Robin was signing the will - she was cold as ice on the phone and said absolutely not and if I don't sign it I won't be paid. Period. I know, let it go, sign it, get the money that is owed me, but it feels terrible to continue to be accused of things when all I did was try to help my friend. Then I remember that this was the same man who changed the locks on his sister's condo the day after she died so that none of us could steal anything. Because after all, we were trustworthy enough to take care of Robin and be with her in her last hours because he just "couldn't handle it", but not trustworthy enough to be left with access to the china. I know I have written it before here, but let me just reiterate FUCK HIM!!

Okay, onto something pleasant. Mallaury is doing better. She even took the bus by herself to go get postcards today! I am very proud of her. Her dad is still in the hospital but is stable and she spoke to him on the phone today. I set her up on video chat so she has been happily chatting away with her friends. Tomorrow she is going to go to English class.

Last night she made cherry clafouti! She used gluten-free flour (garfava with 1/4 teaspoon of xantham gum) so that I could eat it and it was delicious. Here is the original recipe, which she wrote out for me in French.

4 oeufs

120 g de sucre

120 g de farine

20 cl de creme liquide

du sucre vanillie

5 cuilleres a soupe de lait

Cerises

Melanger le sucre avec les oeufs. Ajouter la farine. Melanger tout. Ajouter le sucre vanillie, puis la creme liquide et ensuite les 5 cuilleres de lait. Verser la preparation sur les cerises. Cuire a 175 C, 45 minutes.

For dinner, I made a very nice vegetable dish with romano beans, cherry tomatoes and onions. I simply sauteed all in olive oil with salt and pepper until the beans and onions were soft. I also made some tri tip marinated in 1/2 bottle red wine, 1 clove crushed garlic, 1 tablespoon mustard, salt and pepper. I cooked it on the grill basting often. I am still not great with cooking meat, but the marinade had a nice flavor!

My daughter is back in Paris and gets home late Thursday night, yeah! She told me today that she misses me but she would prefer that I come there and we have perpetual summer in France rather than having to come home to see me. Oh how I wish!

Scratch Cooking July 25th

Goinggreen — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 21:50:12 GMT

My little French guest did not have the best day yesterday and I am guessing my daughter and Emma didn't either. Mallaury's dad has a brain tumor and her mother told her on the phone yesterday that he is no longer able to walk. She told me about it and seemed to be handling it, along with the stye on her eye for the last few days that is making her eyelid swell up, but then after spending the day at the LA Street Food Festival, we decided to go to a party and she had a complete melt down there. Poor little thing was crying her eyes out so I quickly got her out of there and we just stood in the street, hugging while she sobbed. Today she didn't want to leave the house and my daughter wrote me that they had taken Mallaury's dad to the hospital today, so she and Emma were just trying to stay out of the way and be helpful. We did go see a French film which seemed to cheer her up a little and then I had the stroke of genius to get her on video chat so she is now happily chatting away with a friend that apparently never sleeps!

It is challenging. Between the fact that I don't know this girl well, the language barrier and the cultural barrier, I am not quite sure what to do. I just know the poor little thing is suffering and I want to help.

I have a feeling she may need to go back early, but we will see what her mom says this week about how her dad is doing. When I brought it up last night and told her it would be okay if she went back early and she could come back another time, she said no, no, no. In the meantime, I am just glad that she is happy for the moment.

The other thing that seems to make her happy is eating. She's about as big as a minute, but the kid has a hollow leg because she can pack it away! She counted that she ate at 12 different stands yesterday! She took a card from each to put in the journal I gave her that she is making into a scrap book.

I am having a hard time keeping up with her food-wise! This week I made sea scallops marinated in 1/4 cup sherry vinegar, a tablespoon of maple syrup, salt, pepper and 1 tablespoon of olive oil. I seared them on the grill and they were delicious. Another night I made grilled lamb chops with corn on the cob. She said it was impossible to find corn on the cob in France and it was only the second time in her life she had eaten it. There were many happy coos of "j'adore" over the corn! She ate 2 whole ears!

I also made double chocolate ice cream this week. Mix 4 egg yolks with 3/4 cup sugar until creamy. Heat 1 cup milk with 2 cups of cream until steaming hot, but not boiling. Remove 1 cup and add a package of semi sweet chocolate chips and stir until the chocolate melts. Add the rest of the milk to the egg yolk mixture and mix. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until thickened (coats back of a spoon). Add the chocolate mixture and stir until well combined. Refrigerate over night and then run through your ice cream maker. It had a beautiful creamy texture with tiny flecks of chocolate in it.

Tonight I made salmon, corn and I simple gazpacho like cold soup. For the gazpacho I used 1 clove garlic, juice of 1 lemon, 3 tomatoes, 3 cucumbers, a splash of sherry vinegar, 2 tablespoons cilantro, salt and pepper, 2 tablespoons olive oil. I ran the whole thing through a blender. Very easy and refreshing!

So, we shall see what this week brings. She seems to enjoy cooking and at dinner, she expressed an interest in getting the ingredients to make a cherry clafouti. As we all know by now, I find that cooking is therapeutic and hopefully she will, too.

Scratch Cooking July 19th

Goinggreen — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:20:53 GMT

Mallaury said she loves lentils (j'adore les lentilles!) so I made a lentil dish last night which we decided was pas mauvais. I soaked 2 cups of French lentils (but of course they were French!) for a few hours. I sauteed a large, chopped onion, a clove of garlic and a chopped tomato, 1/4 cup fresh parsley and 1/4 cup fresh marjoram in 2 tablespoons of olive oil along with some salt and pepper. When the onions were nice and soft, I added the drained lentils along with a whole bottle of white wine (Reisling) and 1 1/2 cups of water. I cooked for about 40 minutes until the lentils were soft. I served with rice and it was a little saucy but quite a nice flavor.

We also made ice cream yesterday. We made a custard the day before by steeping 2 split vanilla beans in 1 1/2 cups of whole milk. When the milk was hot, we added it to 4 egg yolks beaten with 3/4 cup of sugar and cooked over a medium temperature, stirring the whole time, until it thickened into a custard. Then we scraped the seeds of the vanilla bean so they would be in the custard and added 2 cups of cream and a pinch of salt. We let the whole thing refrigerate over night and then ran through the ice cream maker. We ate it with fresh raspberries and it was fabulous!

Tonight we went for an evening hike with the dogs and that was way more my speed then shopping on Melrose! She asked about going to Universal Studios but that is a form of torture I am simply not willing to endure so she will either have to wait until my daughter gets back or I told her to ask my friend's daughter who went with us to the concert the other night. I'm not very good at saying no, but I draw the line at amusement parks.

Scratch Cooking July 18

Goinggreen — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 11:05:12 GMT

Hosting a 17 year old French girl is EXHAUSTING! I don't spend this much energy entertaining my own kid! Shopping, shopping, shopping on every possible rue in the greater Los Angeles area. Thursday night was a concert on the pier with my friend's daughter Alex who was a total sport and tried very hard to speak in French with Mallaury. They even road the ferris wheel together.

Friday night we were traipsing around Hollywood Boulevard until 1 am desperately seeking Johnny Depp's star. Tonight, a play. Plus, there is just the pure exhaustion of trying to speak French all the time. I am beat! Today, we are going to the flea market (marche de puce) and then Melrose. I can't wait until my daughter gets back and there is another young person to do the entertaining!

I did manage to get some cooking in, and Mallaury likes to cook, too, so that is nice. Tuesday night we went to the Hollywood Bowl to hear French composers and we made guacamole and home made tortillas which Mallaury learned to make like a pro! Also a salad with potatoes, green beans, hard boiled eggs and a vinaigrette of olive oil, balsamic vinegar and mustard. It was simple but very good.

Thursday night I marinated some butterflied shrimp in olive oil, sherry vinegar, garlic, salt and pepper and grilled them on the barbecue. I served with some rice and sauteed onions and greens from the garden. (Did I mention that Mallaury doesn't eat salad? We aren't sure she's really French!)

Last night we had a barbecue at Nina's and I made a couple of salads. One with lettuce and herbs and tomatoes from the garden. The other with a cut up watermelon, thinly sliced onion, cubed cucumbers, some goat milk ricotta I had made in the morning, a heavy sprinkle of salt, juice of 1 lemon and a drizzle of olive oil. I know watermelon in salad sounds gross, but it is addictive!

I also made some bread yesterday. Mallaury had never seen anyone make bread before (of course not, bread comes from the boulangerie!) so she was fascinated by it. First I made a sponge of 2 1/2 cups of whey (or milk or water) 2 packets of yeast, 4 cups flour and 1/4 cup honey. I let that rise for about 1 hour and then added 3 cups flour, 1 1/2 cups potato flour, 4 teaspoons salt and 1/3 cup canola oil. Let rise for another hour. Punch down and put in pans, let rise 30 minutes and bake at 350 for an hour.

Okay, it's back off to the races!

Scratch Cooking July 12th

Goinggreen — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 22:41:00 GMT

Well, Mallaury successfully survived a few days without me. My friends took her out to eat and shopping and she said she had a great time! We spent Sunday literally shopping until I dropped and now she has a t-shirt and sweatshirt from the Gap that make her look just like an American teenager!

We have been having some fun in the kitchen, too. She wrote on her Facebook the other day that in California, people eat fruits and vegetables at every meal and that she is having no problem getting her 5 servings a day!Sunday night, we had salmon and roasted potatoes with basil for dinner. The potatoes were really yummy. I took small red potatoes and doused them with olive oil and about 1/2 cup of fresh basil leaves, some salt and pepper. I roasted them at 425 for about 45 minutes.

This morning, she was supposed to have her first day of ESL, so I made her some French toast so she could have a big "first day at school" breakfast. When we got there, though, much to her relief, they told us she had to be 18 to enroll. So instead, she came home and watched PBS for a few hours - Sesame Street, Clifford, Electric Company - to learn new words. Slowly but surely, she is speaking a little bit of English and I am working on my French.

Tonight we had Thai peanut noodles. I made a peanut sauce with 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1/2 cup soy sauce, 1 clove minced garlic, 1 teaspoon red chili paste, 1/4 cup rice wine vinegar, 1 teaspoon ginger and 1 tablespoon of honey. I fried 1/4 cup parsley leaves and 3 tiny chopped onions from the garden in sesame oil and then added some cooked rice noodles and the peanut sauce. I cooked that for about 5 minutes and served with cucumbers and tomatoes from the garden sprinkled with salt and sesame oil. And of course, a big bowl of fruit like we have been eating at every meal.

Tomorrow night, we are having a picnic at the Hollywood Bowl so, together, we made a potato salad with sliced, boiled potatoes, sliced boiled eggs, green beans and a mustard balsamic vinaigrette. We are going to hear the music of French composers and I have promised Mallaury that she will get to see the Hollywood sign. Wednesday, I plan to take her to a Bastille Day event though I have warned her that it will be lame compared to what takes place in France.

Tonight, I went by Robin's for the last time. They had cleared out her condo while I was away this weekend and a friend took some things for me, but there was a big lemon tree in a pot on her patio that I really wanted. I just wanted something sentimental and not practical, and a living, growing thing seemed like a perfect every day reminder of Robin and everything we went through. I found out at 8 pm that I had to have it out by 10 am tomorrow so I called my neighbor Jesse who came to help me move it. Turned out, we couldn't get the pot out because it was too big so Jesse suggested that we dig out the tree. So now, I have a lemon tree in a corner of my garden!

Lately, I have been waking up and suddenly realizing that she's gone and she's not coming back. It's not like I didn't know that before, but it seems more real now. I think part of it was being in France, a place she loved so much, and part of it is maybe a different kind of letting go. Before, it still felt like with all the drama and unresolved crap with her family, she could come back at any moment. And in a way, I wanted her to so she could clarify her intentions or make different decisions now that we know the outcomes. But now it doesn't feel like that, it feels like one of us, and I am not sure if it is her or me, has let go in a deeper way. It feels like she is really gone. The permanence of death seems more real to me.

Mallaury's father is sick, and we talked about it a little tonight for the first time, about how hard it is and how much sadness there is watching her strong daddy become feable. It made me even more glad that she is here having this experience. I told her that when she comes next summer she will be speaking English perfectly and she told me, yes, but when I come next summer, I am taking the same plane as you!

I spoke to my daughter today and she is having a good time in France. The other day, I couldn't reach her for a few hours and was wondering why on earth I thought her being half way around the world was a good idea. But she, too, is having some great experiences and I wouldn't want to take that away from her.

I also spoke to her father today to try and work out the financial stuff and get him to pay what he owes. All I can say is that I am not Zen enough yet to deal with my ex! If he is the Buddha trying to teach me a lesson about not getting angry when someone is placing all the blame on you and taking no responsibility for anything, well he's doing a really good job!

I think, though, when I look at that lemon tree out my kitchen window, I will be reminded that I have to clear my decks while I still can, and that probably, no certainly, includes the people that get in my face and push my buttons. It's a good reminder to take responsibility and not leave things unsaid and unaddressed.

Scratch Cooking July 6th

Goinggreen — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 20:12:54 GMT

So my last night in France was pretty tearful. We (me, my daughter, Karen's son and Karen's mother) spent the night in Paris at my friend Lorna's. Karen's son was a sobbing mess because he didn't want to leave his mother (he was going to Chicago with his grandmother for 6 weeks because his mom has to work). The only thing that calmed him down was a bowl of noodles with butter (just about all we could find to eat at Lorna's) at 10:30 at night. It was his first time having noodles with just butter and he was sold! He had the leftovers for breakfast.

That night my daughter also became incredibly sad and anxious about staying in France without me. Both kids were crying and both kids wanted to sleep in the bed with me. We ended up sleeping sideways on the bed with our feet hanging off so we could all sleep together. And I use the term sleep very loosely! That morning, we called Karen from the taxi on the way to the airport and Nico explained to his mom that my daughter was very sad and so when she came back to the Loire, she could play with any of his toys and watch any of his movies. It was so cute.

We got to the airport, and because Nico was on a companion ticket and the airline had just implemented an embargo on companion tickets, there were some issues trying to get he and his grandmother on their plane. We finally worked it out and then I had to run and catch my flight. It turns out, I was the only one that had things go smoothly. Made my flight just fine, and they not only put me on a flight 3 hours early out of Chicago, but they upgraded me to first class which I slept all the way through.

My French charge finally made it to L.A. - two days late. First, her flight had mechanical difficulties over the Atlantic and had to turn around and make an emergency landing in Manchester, England. Then they sat on the plane for 3 hours. When they finally let them off, it took another 1 1/2 hours to get the luggage. She had to spend the night in Manchester and they couldn't get her on a flight until the next evening. By the time she got to Charlotte, there were no connecting flights to L.A. so she had to spend the night there and then leave early, early this morning. She got 4 hours of sleep. Then, of course, I was at a meeting when she landed so my brother's girlfriend picked her up at the airport and she had to wait at their house for me to come get her. Poor little thing. She got to the house, took a shower and passed out. I woke her for dinner because I didn't want her to be up all night, but I don't think she was too happy about it. So far, not a word of English out of her, but she says that tomorrow she will try.

For her first dinner here I made a chickpea mash with scallops based on a recipe of my friend Nina. Nina makes hers with clams.

I cooked some soaked chickpeas in water until soft. I sauteed a clove of garlic with some salt and pepper and a teaspoon of lemon rind in about a tablespoon of olive oil for 3 minutes. I added some bay scallops and cooked until almost done and then added about 2 tablespoons of white wine and cooked for another 2 minutes. I removed the scallops and then pureed the cooked chickpeas with salt, pepper, the juice of 1 lemon and about 1/3 cup of the scallop juice. Then I added 1/2 tablespoon of butter to the pan with the remaining juice and cooked on high heat until reduced into a sauce.

I served it with a salad with a bunch of stuff from the garden; lettuce, tomatoes, mint, sorrel, nasturtiums. I also threw in some cucumbers, basil and feta cheese. The dressing was a mustard and balsamic vinaigrette.

My daughter is doing fine. Her first day in Paris, she was alone and didn't leave Lorna's house. But then Lorna and her daughter came back that night and Adina spent the next 2 days with them. Now she is with her best friend and her friend's grandmother until the 12th. She wrote me that her restaurant French is really improving! I am hoping the rest of it follows, too!

Scratch Cooking June 30

Goinggreen — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:50:32 GMT

8 year old boys. Enough said. One minute they are showing off their "massive guns" and the next minute they are crying because it's bed time. I am EXHAUSTED! Last night's freak out was bed time. Tonight's was leaving the swimming pool at Chateau Rivau, which I kind of understand because it was quite glorious there, but it was late and the kid has school in the morning. To his credit, though, after making me literally drag him kicking and screaming "you're pulling off my arm!", he did spontaneously give me a kiss when we got home and tell me he was sorry. He's adorable, but man, it's a lot of work!

My daughter is the real saint, she plays with him for hours and hours. Hide and go seek, puzzles, tickle, French cartoons, reading books. He actually referred to her the other night as his amoureuse. And during more than one bed time melt down, he has called her name, like Stanley calling for Stella in Street Car.

A word about Chateau Rivau. It dates from the 13th century, they have incredible gardens and it is where Jean D'arc fetched 12 horses before the battle of Orleans. Yesterday we hung out at the Chateau Marcay and that was lovely, too.

Nico says I get mad at him too much but he likes my cooking. We made raspberry confiture last night before the bed time melt down. A big bucket of raspberries from the garden, 1/2 cup sugar and the juice of 1 lemon cooked until the raspberries are falling apart. He ate some this morning on the crepes that my daughter made him for the 4th morning in a row.

I made a couple of bread puddings with leftover bread, too. The first was a baguette broken into pieces and soaked in 3 eggs, 1 1/4 cups milk, 1/4 cup cassis, 3/4 cups sugar and a sprinkle of cinnamon for 30 minutes. I put half the bread in a buttered loaf pan, covered with chocolate chunks and then the rest of the bread mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

Tonight's bread pudding was a mixture of 3 eggs, 3/4 cup cream, 1/2 cup whey (because that's what I had in the house), 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 cup of the raspberry jam. I did the same thing with the bread and chocolate and again, baked at 350 for 45 minutes.

I met the family of the French girl that is coming back to L.A. with me. Poor little thing really doesn't speak a word of English. She cried a little and I felt really bad for her. Later that night she posted on her face book that sometimes she curses the day she was born.

Her parents are lovely and I think she will be fine once she gets there and settled into some ESL classes and meets some kids. She is very sweet, but I am really going to have to brush up on my French if she is going to feel comfortable. I am going to be gone for a business trip from the 8th - 11th. I have friends coming to check on her, but I hope that she will be okay! I am really nervous about it. If my daughter were going to be there, it would be okay, but she will be alone with the dogs. I may send her to stay with one of my friends for a couple days if it seems like she won't be able to handle it.

She also booked a different flight than me going from Paris to L.A. and I am concerned for her because she has a stop in Charlotte where she will need to go through customs. I have to believe that she can handle it, but I would feel a lot better if we were traveling together! I can only hope that some kind soul will help her out as I will be on an airplane. Then she will have to wait for me 4 hours at baggage claim until I arrive in L.A. Yikes! It makes me nerbous, but then I remember how many times I traveled places where I didn't speak the language and I was fine. She will be fine.

Scratch Cooking June 27th

Goinggreen — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 13:38:37 GMT

My version of heaven? My friend Karen's house in Fontevreau in the Loire Valley in France where I am right now. It's an old farmhouse that she renovated and on her property there are cherry trees, raspberries vines, frais de bois (wild strawberries), grape vines, walnut trees, hazlenut trees, olive trees, sage and lavendar and fields of sunflowers.

The troglodyte caves below the house are from the 500's and the woman that she bought the house from was still living in them in the 1950's!

Karen's co-guide for the bike tour, or as we kept referring to him, co-god, was here last night and we all had dinner together of left over carpaccio de boeuf and quiche, a salad that we made that had everything but the kitchen sink in it, a loaf made with salmon and scallions, olives and bread and, bien sur, wine! He is in the process of moving back to Canada with his wife, who is in the wine business, and their 2 young children. He said it is going to be a big adjustment not having all the perks of living in France - the state subsidized daycare, the long vacations, etc. but at least in Canada, they will still have healthcare.

Yesterday also included a trip to LeClerc, the French response to Wal-Mart. But like most things French, the majority of the products are local and very fresh.

Karen and I stayed up late last night talking. I know her through Robin, so we talked a lot about everything that happened with her and her family, about our kids and our experiences and about what we both want for our lives. It was wonderful!

I spent my day picking berries and shelling hazlenuts and drinking wine with old and new friends. It is now 10 pm here and the sky is still light, the birds are chirping and the bees are buzzing. The moon last night, which finally rose at 11 pm, was a huge, low lying ball of orange. It is pastoral splendor here!

She is planning to take her son, who was born in Russia, back to Russia for a year and has offered me to come and live here in her house. It is VERY tempting. There's an old New Yorker cartoon where the woman tells her husband "I'm going to France. I'm a different person in France." I understand.

Being here is a lot like how it is for me back in New England. People take each other's children. Neighbors and friends drop by for a glass of wine or to bring you something from their garden. Life here is all about connecting with people and not about stuff.

I, of course, did some cooking today after all of my harvesting. I made 3 loaves of French bread, but of course! My daughter made crepes for brunch. I made some ricotta which we ate with fresh Raspberries and a glass of Rose when our friends came for an afternoon visit. My daughter spent the day doing puzzles, playing endless games of hide and seek and being the all-around best baby sitter ever!

For dinner I made some fish, I think it was halibut, cooked in butter with a little salt and pepper, steamed artichokes, wild rice and salad and the bread.

Dessert was a raspberry crumble. Talk about local! 90% of the ingredients didn't just come from nearby, they came from within 100 yards!

First I toasted about 2 cups of hazlenuts (5 minutes in a 350 degree oven) took off the skins and pulverized them in the blender to make hazlenut flour. I mixed the flour with 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup melted butter. a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of cinnamon. I put that over 2 cups of raspberries and frais de bois mixed with 1/4 cup of sugar. I baked it at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes.

Nico was quite happy until it was bed time. I forget what it's like to have a little one and, am afraid, could have handled it better. Let's just say that by the time I got him in bed, he made it very clear that he wanted my daughter to read him his bedtime story and cuddle with him and NOT me! That's after a day of hugs and kisses and telling me he loved me and how wonderful my food is and how much fun he was having. Oh well, tomorrow is another day...in paradise!

Scratch Cooking June 22

Goinggreen — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 00:22:45 GMT

It's not that I haven't been cooking, it's just that I have had no time to write about cooking! Friday night I went out for a really fun evening with Nina, my friend in the wine business and a 24 year old guy that just started working for her. He is a sommelier, an opera singer and an all around fun kid! We hit 2 downtown wine bars, Mignon and Must, and then a new restaurant, Ursa, where we had a fabulous meal prepared by a young, super talented chef. And in between places, we were serenaded in the car. We even did a Carmen sing-along!

One of the desserts we had at Ursa was a rice pudding brule. It was fabulous and inspired me to make rice pudding:

3 cups whole milk or 2 cups cream and 1 cup water

1 cup rice

1/3 cup honey

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 pinch salt

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Cook it all in a covered pot over low heat until the liquid is absorbed and serve warm!

Sunday dinner was a salad nicoise, a caprese salad and steamed artichokes from the garden. We have a bounty of artichokes and have been eating them almost daily with balsamic and mustard vinaigrette. And at the farmer's market, there is suddenly a bounty of fresh produce. Except for the tuna, vinegar and mustard, everything we ate came from the farmer's market or our garden. Even the olive oil is local and farm produced. You already know the recipes, so I won't bore you but here are some pictures simply because the colors this time of year are so vibrant!

My daughter handled dessert which was a lighter than air honey mousse with fresh berries from the Fields of Greens Cookbook. The recipe is super simple. Beat 4 egg yolks with 1/2 cup honey and a pinch of salt together in the top of a double boiler over barely simmering water. Whisk continuously for about 8 minutes or until it thickens and the custard leaves ribbons on its surface when poured over itself. Remove from heat and transfer to a bowl and set aside to cool. Whip 2 cups heavy cream until firm and fold into the custard. Chill and serve with berries. Amazing!

When next I write, I will be cooking from a little town outside of Chinon and dropping my daughter off for her French adventure! I must have been out of my mind when I thought about letting her do this. I have to remind myself that she is really only away from me for 3 1/2 weeks. But still...